Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
