I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize