i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
