I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize