but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
