why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize