i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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