Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
