I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
At least make sure they are 18
Why
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize