oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
