Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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