So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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