My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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