I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
