Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize