Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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