just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
