just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just threw up on my dentist
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
should my penis look like a turkey
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
