I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
