just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
