Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
