i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We named our party play list daddy issues
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
