Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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