I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
