In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
