Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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