it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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