i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
