dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I checked into jail on foursquare
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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