yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize