Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
