seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
