Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Of course I have a pirate flag
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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