As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
