are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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