it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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