either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
