Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
