I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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