I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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