Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
