let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
