he puts the penis in happiness.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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