You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize