So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
