i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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