If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
