me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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