I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
