I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
