I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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