ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
