So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
