lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
