Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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