Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize