420 ftw
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
