Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
