walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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