If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
