Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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