I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You can't just leave with hair like that
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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