glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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