So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
