Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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