doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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