I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
