I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize