you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
