I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
