i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
