we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize