just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
