u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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